The Power of Praise: How Noticing the Positives Builds Confidence and Better Behaviour
- A Marsden
- Jun 24
- 2 min read
As parents and carers, we all want to help our children learn right from wrong. But often, without meaning to, we fall into the trap of focusing mainly on correcting negative behaviour — at home, at school, or both.
While boundaries and consequences matter, research shows that praise and encouragement are far more powerful tools for helping young people thrive. At Compass Education, we help schools, families, and students build confidence, belonging, and better behaviour — and it starts with noticing what’s going well.
The Education Endowment Foundation (EEF) talks about the Golden Ratio when it comes to behaviour — aiming for at least five positive interactions or comments for every one negative correction. It’s a simple but powerful approach: when young people feel noticed and valued for their effort, progress, and kindness, they’re far more likely to keep making positive choices.
Why Praise and Positive Relationships Matter
Positive relationships between parents and children are built on trust, warmth, and the feeling of being seen — not just corrected. When we get the balance right, we help our children:
✔ Feel more confident and motivated
✔ Make better behaviour choices in and out of school
✔ Build stronger friendships and relationships with adults
✔ Become more resilient in the face of challenges
✔ Feel proud of themselves and their progress
Celebrating School Success at Home
It’s easy to focus on school when there’s a problem — a phone call, a detention, or a concern about behaviour. But it’s just as important to celebrate the positives.
✔ Check in regularly with school behaviour and progress data. Many schools use apps or reports to share positive achievements, good effort, attendance, or praise points. Make a habit of asking, “What have you done well this week?” — not just, “Have you been in trouble?”
✔ Celebrate the small wins. Whether it’s a teacher comment, an improvement in attendance, or a better attitude in lessons — let your child know you noticed and you’re proud.
✔ Show genuine interest. Ask about their learning, friendships, and achievements — not just their mistakes. It shows school is not just a place to avoid trouble, but somewhere to succeed.
Practical Ways to Build Positivity at Home
✔ Catch them doing the right thing. It might be a kind word, helping with chores, or showing responsibility. A simple, “I saw how you handled that — well done,” reinforces good choices.
✔ Be specific with praise. Vague praise is less effective. Try, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that project,” or “You showed real patience then.”
✔ Model respectful behaviour. Young people copy adults. Show kindness, patience, and problem-solving in your own actions.
✔ Balance correction with encouragement. Of course, poor behaviour needs addressing — but the more you notice the positives, the fewer problems you’ll have to correct.
Where to Find More Support
Building strong, positive relationships takes time and patience — but it works. For more ideas and support:
Remember: praise isn’t just about boosting their mood — it shapes their behaviour, builds their confidence, and strengthens your relationship.
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