Reducing Conflict at School: How You Can Help Your Child

Secondary school is an exciting time for young people — new friendships, growing independence, and finding their place in the world. But it’s also a time when emotions can run high, misunderstandings happen, and conflict becomes part of school life. Arguments with friends, disagreements with teachers, or fallouts within peer groups are all normal — but when these situations aren’t handled well, they can quickly escalate.

At Compass Education, we know that helping young people learn how to manage conflict is one of the most important ways parents and schools can support them to feel they belong, stay safe, and thrive.

Why Reducing Conflict Matters

When students are caught up in arguments or drama, it affects every part of their school experience. It can damage friendships, lead to poor behaviour choices, affect concentration in lessons, and sometimes result in formal consequences like detentions or exclusions.

Young people who learn to handle conflict calmly are more likely to:

✔ Maintain positive friendships

✔ Focus on learning without distraction

✔ Build confidence in dealing with tricky situations

✔ Avoid getting drawn into bigger problems

What You Can Do to Support Them

You might not be able to prevent every disagreement, but you can give your child the tools to manage them better. Your guidance at home makes a big difference.

Here are some practical ways to help:

✔ Talk about conflict as normal, but manageable. Let them know arguments happen, but it’s how we deal with them that matters. Remind them that walking away or taking time to cool off isn’t weakness — it’s maturity.

✔ Model calm problem-solving. When disagreements happen at home, show how to talk calmly, listen, and find a solution. Young people learn from what they see.

✔ Help them see the bigger picture. Remind them not every issue is worth getting drawn into. A small disagreement doesn’t need to ruin a friendship or school day. Encourage them to ask themselves: “Will this still matter tomorrow?”

✔ Teach them to ask for help. It’s OK for them to speak to a teacher, form tutor, or trusted adult if a situation feels overwhelming. Seeking help is a smart choice, not ‘snitching’.

✔ Encourage positive friendships. Talk about what makes a good friend — trust, respect, and kindness. The right friends reduce conflict, the wrong ones often create it.

Where to Find More Support

If you’re worried your child is struggling with friendships or conflict at school, contact their tutor or pastoral team. Schools want to work with families to keep students safe and settled.

Useful resources:

• Childline: Support with Friendship Issues and Conflict

• YoungMinds: Helping Young People Manage Friendships

Supporting your child to handle conflict well today helps them build better relationships, make positive choices, and stay focused on learning.